The Guru Disciple Relationship Explained

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The Guru Disciple Relationship Explained

Question:
Sadhguru, what is the exact nature of the relationship between any guru and his disciple? Is the guru an authoritarian, a parent, a friend?

Sadhguru’s Answer:
This is the corniest question you can ask. Friend, I’m willing to be but I’m not actually. If I’ll be your friend, it’s good for me but not at all good for you. Because a friend means what? Somebody who supports you in your limitations. Somebody who makes you feel comfortable. Somebody who sustains illegal. Who do you make friendship with somebody who punches your ego? You will not. Somebody who shows up your ego. Somebody who buttresses your ego. That is the one whom you would choose as a friend. Friend, definitely not. That you must know by now. Parent? I have great regard and reverence for mine and yours but parent would happen out of certain ignorants. Out of certain compulsants. Most people didn’t know what they were doing. You were 10, 12 years of age. You were just fine. You became 14, 15, 16, you already in arts got poisoned with other kind of chemicals.

Suddenly, you look at this woman. All kinds of things happened. You will look at this man. All kinds of things happen. They were quite okay, just last year. Now, suddenly you look, suddenly, everything looks somehow. Somehow from within you were poisoned in such a way that everything started looking in a certain way. You will see, once this hormonal hijack is over, you look at everybody. Everybody looks normal. You look at a man or a woman, they look just normal. When this was on, you looked at him. They look like fire. It consume you. It was not unreal. It was real. It was very real, isn’t it? Parents. [inaudible 00:03:34] people who are trying to do all the things that they could not do in their own lives through their children. Normally. Not always. Some of them are here.

We keep seeing this. Our school teachers kept coming to me. People who are running the school coming tell me. We made it very clear to the parents. Once you put your child in [inaudible 00:04:10] home school. We are not going to give you a marks start. We are not going to put up a marks card and say, your child is better than somebody else’s child. Everything is being done. A great amount of striving to see that the child flourish. Many things, very elaborate things are being done but it’s very few schools in the world can ever do. Slowly, parent, they are okay. It’s nice to know they’re developing well. They’re physically and mentally they seem to be much mature than themselves which is very threatening. All that is fine but when they go back for the vacation, they enables children, they said we got 92. What is your number? Our kids don’t know what number they belong to. What number? We don’t have numbers.

Parents feel very different. My child doesn’t have a better number. They come back and they get worked up and they come and say, “No, no. This shouldn’t happen. My child is not doing as well as he could. If my child goes to someone’s school. He will get 100 or 200.” Then, I told them, “Next time, if somebody raises this, just tell the parent. First, bring their marks cards.” All the parents should bring their mark seats. Let’s see how much they got. We’ll say, it’s just genetic. If your child got 23, he’s a 92. It’s genetic problem, you know. One or two parent, once you ask this question, the room speaks on, they’re going to ask for your marks card too. Don’t ever ask our two children. Parent, definitely not. Authoritarian? I think I fit into that. An authoritarian means, usually, you think authoritarian means a Hitler, a Stalin or a Mussolini or somebody else like that.

No. They really had no control or anything. All the time, things were freaking around them. They were trying to give control in the most violent ways but they never have control or anything. Yes. Things are always falling apart around them. I think I fit into that label much better than them. Because when it comes to life, it doesn’t matter what you say, what you think, what you do, what I say will happen. When it comes to life, fundamental life. I am an authoritarian because I don’t listen to anybody. It’s simple things of life. Even if a child speaks, I will listen with great respect. When it comes to certain aspects of life, it doesn’t matter who.

If guard comes, I will not listen to him because I know better than him. This sounds absolutely egoistic, stupid, Mike Tyson-like but what can I do to talk? When it comes to life, fundamental life, I’m an absolute authoritarian. There’s no question. There are no two ways about it. You sculpt the sculpture to me. I will dismiss it. You bring your funded to me, I will dismiss it. You bring anybody to me. You wake Buddha and is great, when you bring him, I still dismiss him unless he agrees with me. I am a total authoritarian when it comes to life. I think I fit into that label better than anything else.