Have you ever done something embarrassing? Were you able to shrug it off and laugh with those around you? Or, did you turn crimson and wish you could magically vanish into thin air? Did you learn from the event and move on or were you so torn up you spent hours replaying the scene in your head and worrying what people thought of you?
From the time we are children, most of us are raised to fit into social norms. In the evolution of our species, belonging to a group provided safety and is part of the reason we are still here. Sometimes, in today’s society however, the need to belong can translate into a preoccupation with the approval of others. For some, constant worry about what others think of them can keep them from fully experiencing the very life they are meant to be living.
Can a person that feels this way learn to get past the fear of ridicule to just be themselves? Instead of telling us not to worry about what others think, Sadhguru tells us straight up, “If you do certain things, you will be ridiculed.”
And, if someone does invest time to make a judgement on you, we might ask, is this always a bad thing? Sadhguru says, “Somebody may say something, if you’re completely in the wrong direction. If you do certain things, you will be ridiculed, but most of the time, nobody has any time to think about you, to make judgments about you, to ridicule you – they don’t have time, they’re busy with their own stuff, you know? So…you don’t bother. If you look a little ridiculous and people laugh, – if they do – isn’t it nice that you’re a source of joy for somebody at least? I’m not saying you must make a fool of yourself all the time, but it’s all right. Once in a way to make a fool of yourself is very human. Yes?”
“If you’re willing to be ridiculous, you will become very lovable. A lot of people will fall in love with you, because you’re stupid. Really. They think you’re cute. So, don’t bother about what somebody is thinking.What somebody is thinking is their problem, isn’t it? What is happening in their mind is their problem. Yes, or no? Are they coming and telling you you’re ridiculous? That means they are very helpful. They didn’t tell you, you don’t know what’s happening in their mind.”
“Why are you trying to read everybody’s mind? You must be concerned what is the quality of your mind, don’t worry about the quality and content of other people’s minds. It’s not worth it, I’m telling you. Exploring other people’s mind – it’s not worth it, there’s nothing really worthwhile. If you concern yourself of what should happen in your mind, your life will improve.”
“If you are concerned about what he may be thinking, what she may be thinking, you’ll go crazy because you don’t know what’s happening, it’s all guesswork. Guesswork will drive you crazy on a daily basis if you do it, isn’t it?”
“So, from now on, you just look at this: if you think something is ridiculous, don’t do it! If you think it’s worth doing it, just do it, it doesn’t matter.”
“Somebody may think it’s ridiculous. I can make fun of anything in the universe – this doesn’t mean I am against it. Instead of crying about it, at least let’s laugh about all the idiotic things, what to do? Yes? It’s a choice. You can see many stupid things in the world and cry about it, or you can laugh about it. Your ability to fix it is better – not that we can fix everything, but our ability to fix something is better when we’re in a laughing mode, not in a crying mode, isn’t it so?”
“So, you don’t bother – if somebody laughs, you can join and laugh. You’ll make friends. If you react, you will become more ridiculous. Already you’ve done one stupid thing – if you react to that, you will become a permanent ridicule. If you join with them and laugh, they will help you out of something that you may be doing wrong – possible. But anyway, most people are not thinking about you, sorry to disappoint you.”
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