Everyone wants to love and be loved. But, ideally, what does that mean? Why do so many relationships crash and burn or at best, partners ride a bumpy road together? The desire to be approved of, win people over or be with someone deemed special is ingrained in most societies. We are raised to believe that it is essential to be loved and be in love, but rarely are we sure how to accomplish this.
Love is a major topic of literature, especially in poems and movies. Love is also captured in many a song such as the Beatles 1967 hit: “All you need is love… Love is all you need.” Countless scenarios abound in these tales, including heartbreak, intense longing, as well as both fulfillment and sorrow. We often set up ideals, many similar to those portrayed in the various media produced by our cultures, and when these expectations are not met, confusion and frustration follow. Sadhguru offers a simple process as he helps to clear this confusion.
Sadhguru: “When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love. It is just that there are conditions and there is love. The moment there is a condition, it just amounts to a transaction. Maybe a convenient transaction, maybe a good arrangement – maybe many people made excellent arrangements in life – but that will not fulfill you; that will not transport you to another dimension. It is just convenient.
When you say “love,” it need not necessarily be convenient; most of the time it is not. It takes life. Love is not a great thing to do, because it eats you up. If you have to be in love, you should not be. You as a person must be willing to fall, only then it can happen. If your personality is kept strong in the process, it is just a convenient situation, that’s all. We need to recognize what is a transaction and what is truly a love affair. A love affair need not be with any particular person; you could be having a great love affair, not with anybody in particular, but with life.
What you do, what you do not do, is according to circumstances around you. Our actions are as the external situation demands. What you do outside of yourself is always subject to many conditions. But love is an inner state – how you are within yourself can definitely be unconditional.
Make love your quality
If you are life, it is very natural to love. Every human being is capable of love but unfortunately, many have crippled themselves with all kinds of belief systems, opinions, philosophies, ideologies – everything except life.
Love is not imported from heaven
People either profess to love God or believe God loves them. The assumption is that love is a quality that needs to be imported from Heaven. But does anyone really know whether God loves or not? We bow down to whoever created this grand creation – a creation that boggles the mind. We bow down to the creator, but you don’t know whether he is love or joy or peace.
Love is a human emotion
Human beings are capable of love when they are willing. Unfortunately, we want to export everything that is beautiful in our life to heaven and live wantonly on this planet. Love, joy, blissfulness – these are human possibilities.
A simple process
Love is not something to do with someone else. Love is never between two people. It is what happens within you, and what happens within you need not be enslaved to someone else. For 15 to 20 minutes daily, go sit with something that means nothing to you – maybe a tree, or a pebble, or a worm or an insect. After some time, you will find you can look upon it with as much love as you do your wife or husband or your mother or your child. Maybe the worm does not know this. That doesn’t matter. If you can look at everything lovingly, the whole world becomes beautiful in your experience. You realize love is not something that you do; love is the way you are.”
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