How to Keep Your Kids from Driving You Crazy

We all know that children are a blessing.  But on mornings where you find yourself struggling to get everybody out the door on time, fighting with your children over what to wear and generally feeling stressed out over the demands a growing family places on your time, it can be hard to keep things in perspective!

Fortunately, Sadhguru has a few words of wisdom on how to keep this stress in check and how to keep your children from driving you crazy:

Tip #1 – Stop trying to mold your children into something they aren’t

Every child is unique.  We hear that mantra and we repeat it to ourselves over and over again – and yet, we still try to force our children into the mental fantasies we have planned out for them.

When we first envisioned becoming parents, we built up elaborate ideas about what the process of child-rearing would be like and the types of people our children would turn out to be.  But really, we have no control over this process!  Every child comes with his or her own innate personality, which is why trying to force the child to be something else will only lead to stress and torment on your part.

Tip #2 – Remember that true love means doing what’s best for your child

According to Sadhguru:

“People misunderstand that loving their children is to cater to whatever they ask for. If you get them everything they ask for, it is stupidity, isn’t it? When you are loving, you can do just whatever is needed. When you truly love someone, you are willing to be unpopular and still do what is best for them.”

As parents, there are plenty of times when we feel tempted to give our children whatever they want – whether because we’re too tired to argue otherwise or because we feel guilty over not being the parents we envisioned.

However, you must get this out of your mind!  Real love isn’t about showering your children with gifts and treats – it’s about leading them on the path to becoming better people.  Your job as a parent isn’t to give in to your children’s every whim.  Instead, you must love them enough to do what’s best for them as people, even when it isn’t popular or easy.

Tip #3 – Let kids be kids

Too often, we try to hurry our children into adulthood.  We tell them to get dressed faster, to learn skills faster and to become more independent faster.  But who does this really benefit?

We want children to grow up more quickly because we think it will mean less stress for ourselves.  But along the way, we diminish the beautiful spark and the capacity for joy that’s innate in each child.  Instead of hurrying them towards adulthood, we should be allowing them to remind us what it’s like to play and to feel pure, unadulterated joy.

Children will grow up fast enough on their own – don’t try to hustle them along the path more quickly for your own benefit.

Tip #4 – Be a better role model for your children

Unconsciously, our children learn to model the behaviors and thought processes around them.  They’re like little sponges – if they see mom and dad running around, stressed out all the time, they’ll eventually come to identify these experiences as “default” behaviors to be emulated later in life.

This doesn’t mean that you need to be perfect 100% of the time, lest you risk setting your child up for failure with one wrong move – but it does mean that you need to be conscious of the exterior you present to your children.

As Sadhguru says:

“If you are genuinely interested in giving your children a good upbringing, you should first transform yourself into a peaceful and loving human being.”

If you are perpetually tired and stressed out, do the necessary work to improve your own personal well-being so that you’re able to present a more loving and supportive parent to your child.  Taking time for yourself to engage in a yoga program or other type of self-care isn’t greedy – it reinforces the idea that it’s important to take care of yourself to your child.

Remember, your children need constant guidance and support.  If you don’t provide an attractive outlet for these needs, your kids will be more likely to turn to other external sources in your life – whether or not these people are positive role models.  When you’re a genuinely happy, joyful person, your children will come to you and seek your advice, forming the type of positive relationship that will help steer your kids well into adulthood.