“Falling” in Love

What does it mean to fall in love? Below, Sadhguru is joined in conversation by renowned filmmaker Shekhar Kapur as the two discuss the terminology of “falling”, and the significance of forming relationships in which two lives become tied together.

Sadhguru: When you see a man and a woman, you are talking about a relationship. There are different aspects to it; there may be a social angle to it, there may be a physical angle to it, there may be a psychological angle to it, there may be an economic angle to it. There is a variety of other things to fulfill in a relationship. We form relationships with a variety of people in our lives. You have business relationships, you have personal relationships, you have professional relationships. We form relationships basically to fulfill certain types of needs or to fulfill somebody else’s needs, whichever way it is. That is a relationship. But what you refer to as love is just the sweetness of your emotion. You can use another person to stimulate that within you, or you can be on self-start mechanism.

Shekhar Kapur: But is it possible for two people together beyond the chemistry or hormones, to be self-start, to be starters for each other and continue that relationship? Do you see value in people staying together for so long in a marriage, beyond duty, beyond, say, “Okay, we have children, we have to do it together, society expects us to…?”

Sadhguru: There is a certain beauty for two human beings to weave their lives as one. If you have to really be with somebody, you have to give up a part of yourself in some way. So, the English expression, ‘falling in love,’ is very significant. You can only fall into it. You can’t stand in it, you can’t climb in it – you have to fall into it. [Laughs] Falling means some part of you has to go to accommodate another, which is a good thing for a human being to do; that he doesn’t think too much of himself. One who thinks too much of himself cannot be in a love affair. Somewhere, you have to surrender a part of yourself to be in a love affair. In that sense, it’s a very beautiful thing.

Sadhguru: There is a certain beauty for two human beings to weave their lives as one. If you have to really be with somebody, you have to give up a part of yourself in some way. So, the English expression, ‘falling in love,’ is very significant. You can only fall into it. You can’t stand in it, you can’t climb in it – you have to fall into it. [Laughs] Falling means some part of you has to go to accommodate another, which is a good thing for a human being to do; that he doesn’t think too much of himself. One who thinks too much of himself cannot be in a love affair. Somewhere, you have to surrender a part of yourself to be in a love affair. In that sense, it’s a very beautiful thing.

Watch Sadhguru and Shekhar Kapur’s full conversation on Relationships and Love: