The ways many people approach and understand sexuality in the modern world has changed significantly from previous generations. While sexuality is commonly understood primarily as a physical process, it is also influenced by social and cultural norms to a large extent, with different cultures and societies viewing the subject in different ways that can also change over time. Oftentimes, the subject is considered taboo, and open, healthy discussions of sexuality or sex education can be neglected or avoided. How can one approach the topic in an open-minded manner? In a way that causes no distortion?
In the video below, Sadhguru discusses how one need not exaggerate nor avoid their sexuality, but rather simply see it the way it is and understand its limitations.
Sadhguru: “A six-year-old girl came home one day from school and asked, ‘Mama, how was I born?’ The mother was embarrassed. She said, ‘A stork dropped you.’ ‘Okay,’ she noted down. ‘Mama, how were you born?’ ‘A stork dropped me too.’ ‘Mama, how was Grandmama born?’ ‘A stork dropped her too.’ Then the girl became serious, and she went down and sat down and started writing something in her homework. Then the mother went and read. The essay was about the family tree. So the girl had written, ‘For three generations in my family nobody had a natural birth.’ So because of absurd ideas, either we exaggerate something or we try to unnecessarily play it down.”
“So there are many reasons why one indulges in sex. For some it is just pleasure, for some it is a way of building this bond and companionship, otherwise people feel they’re going away from each other. They may be just fine but for a lot of people it is psyched in their mind that if they’re not sexually involved they’re actually moving away. If there’s no sexuality you don’t really have a relationship. In fact if you say ‘relationship’, you are supposed to understand it’s sex-based relationship; nothing else is a relationship. I can have a very strong relationship with you and not be concerned about your body, isn’t it? Yes. But all those possibilities are completely discounted. A relationship means, you must be in some way physically involved, man-woman or man-man, woman-woman, whatever you like. Essentially, it’s body based. This has happened because somewhere our identification in the body has gone beyond normal levels of identity. Essentially most of the sexuality that’s happening on the planet is happening because of a certain compulsiveness, isn’t it?”
“Now I’m speaking. This is a kind of energy. You’re listening to me. This is a kind of energy. These are different expressions of the same life energy, isn’t it? Now sexuality is also another expression of the same energy. Now one has to decide how much of his energy in which direction he wants to send it because after all you are a limited amount of energy isn’t it? See, it’s just like, you have an income. How much for the house rent, how much for eating, how much for schooling, how much for vacation you portion, isn’t it? If you’re handling your life sensibly, everything in your life is portioned according to your understanding, your need and your capability, isn’t it so? Yes. Your money, time, energy, isn’t everything allotted the way you like to arrange it?”
“This is also the same thing. How much of it? If there is a need, if I ask you to stop it, you will become perverted because it will all happen in your head. If somebody is telling you, you have to do it, if you don’t do it you’re not normal, another kind of perversion will come. Both are not needed. It is just that if there is such a drive, it is there. But you understand the limitation of it. After all you are not going after a man or woman, we already looked at this, you are going after a certain level of pleasantness. Because whatever pleasantness happened, maybe you use the other person, but the pleasantness happened within you, right?”
“So suppose anyway the pleasantness is happening within you, the other person is just a key to open this, won’t you like to have the key in your own hands? Yes? That if you sit like this, you are on. Full scale. You don’t need anybody. Because, to extract pleasure out of somebody, you have to play any number of tricks. It takes enormous amount of time, effort, energy and all kinds of other things, frustrations, jealousies, problems, everything attached to it. You are here constantly looking what can I get out of that person. It’s called a love affair, but it’s a con job. But if you are extremely ecstatic by yourself when you’re being with people, it’s about sharing your ecstasy. It is about, if they are not touched by it somehow, to touch them with it, rather than seeing what you can squeeze out of them. The whole fundamentals of your life will change.”
Plus receive a free eBook by Sadhguru
